We got the closing date. I'll be honest i didnt think the day was actually going to come . Infact I'm still a little shocked by that (as silly as that sounds). This morning during all the Hospital craziness at work I explained to my friend Carol how confused and sad I was feeling about this change to come. She responded that perhaps i'd be more excited if we had a new house to move into. Because the anticipation of a new house would over power any query Im having about leaving this home.
You, know after I contemplated her rational I realized, shes correct!
Lets face it, moving in with the parents while we search for our new home is not the most horrible thing in the world, but it's not the best either. As well I want Nadine to be settled in a new place before her next surgery(more on that later).
Right now I feel like I'm losing part of my identity. My house is about to be overtaken by some total stranger.
The sidewalks ive walked on with my Hannah will no longer await our foot and paw prints. The park swing where I pushed Nadine for two years will never be sat in by her again (so it seems). The street light on the corner will never be gazed at by me for hours while new snow falls next year. Just some things i'll miss.
Patti-- sometimes the best thing to do is to think outside of yourself, viewing situations practically and when you do, it changes your emotional impulse. A house is not a home without the people who make it one. It is just wood and sheetrock, and has doors and windows. It's a vacant space. When you find your new place you will fill that emptiness with the sounds of laughter, and joy, and Nadine running around, and the scent of dinner being made, and you'll decorate it as a representation of who you are. I don't know your situation, but I hope you find what you're looking for and in the meantime trust you and your husband's decision in life. You have each other and a wonderful little girl. That's all you need babe!
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