My HANNAH

After noticing a significant change with Hannah which happened very quickly, I was glad her routine check up was coming up. Besides her arthritis being worse then ever, she was not eating as well, her activity level decreased, and she is on her bed almost the day. At her check up, xrays revealed her arthritis was in fact horrible and is causing spinal problems, however with a increase of her medication, as well as pain medication, she'll live out a little longer being more comfortable. Forgetting she had blood taken, the next day the Veterinarian called with devastating news. Hannah has a aggressive type of Leukemia, giving her 3-6 weeks of life, from the onset of symptoms. This has made me horribly sad. Realizing Hannah has had stage one tumor removed at age 7, her arthritis showing her age, I still thought even though over 10, she'd be here with us forever.

After given the results of her blood work, the Vet went on to talk about options, however because of her advanced arthritis, her age, as well as the aggression of the disease, he didn't recommend treatment. We could bring her in and have her put to rest before it advances, or take it day to day. I choose, day to day right now. Being given the "power" to put her to sleep, is a weird feeling, specially since she wags her tail so much, attempts to play ( even if its for only a couple minutes), and she's loving us still. I've never felt this way before, I feel a constant pain in my stomach about this, about her not being here with us.I'm a very lucky person. Both my parents are alive, I have never dealt with losing someone I love so much and not be ready to say goodbye. My cats who were both almost 14 when they died, I knew it was their time and new they were not well. We just moved into this house with a outstanding property and Hannah has not had a full year to enjoy it. I mad, and in almost disbelief about the diagnosis.
I need her to give me a sign that it's her time. So for today , as she finished a smaller portion of her breakfast and is wagging her tail when she awakes, i'll see what the next day brings.

During the rest of her time here with us, i'll write about all the things that are flashing in my mind about her puppy-hood, About the funny things she does, about her being a fantastic friend and family member.