Surgery take II

There's something to be said for the little lives that endure surgery, a illness and experience a hospital. What can I say? I'm glad its over! For us. I wonder for the other children who will need the care of a hospital, what do they feel going thru their ordeals. I am brought back to the morning of Nadines surgery, we arrived at 4:45 am as instructed, hubby dropped us to the main entrance ( and he went to park the Jeep. I carried Nadine in thru a hallway painted with planets, I remember the security officer's greeting us. We were the only people walking thru the- not- lit -up atrium of Cohen's children's hospital. It was do quiet! The quietness in this re-done of a beauty of a hospital, was a little weird, yet it gave me time, as a mother to gather myself and start to meditate on what would be a nerve raking experience. You see, as a parent who brings there child in to a O.R , and watching the child get "put under", it is no easy task. I imagine some parents reconsider, as the surgeon said to me "if you back out while we are there, we can't schedule again for a few weeks, we don't just go back in later today, this is not going to be easy". HE was right! It is not easy. I thought being her second surgery, i'd have no problem. Nadine was nervous as I carried her, walking passed all the operating rooms, where procedures were underway. When we arrived to her destination, standing in the well-lit up space, was the Surgical technician, the Anesthesiologist, the surgeons and two lovely nurses, ( one of which would be escorting me out of the room with in minutes). No direction was needed, I knew what to do. Everyone was standing around me waiting for my kew. I turned to Nadine as I sat her on the operating room table and pulled my mask down,so she can see my face. I asked very quickly for everyone else to do so "Nadine doesn't like the masks, please- till she's sleeping take it off". Within seconds, a mask was put over her face and she cried for me, holding me tightly "Mamma , don't let them put that on my face,please" the words daily i'm recall "mamma please, mamma , mamma" NOT mommy, not mom...she said "mamma". In a few seconds, she was sleeping. As tears rolled down her cheeks, it was time for me to turn around and walk out. The Nurse, said to me "I know this is hard"..I was silent. In those moments, the thoughts and prayers were flying all thru my mind. As I was almost to meet up with the husband, it was time to get composed. I didn't want him to see me upset, otherwise this would upset him, ...It's stressful enough the anticipation of the surgery, that two hysterical parents wouldn't help anyone. Waiting for Nadine's surgery to end, was like waiting for the Moon the to touch the Earth. It seemed like it would never happen. But when it did and we saw a Doctor stepping toward us, it was as if the clouds came apart, the sun shone down on him and sparkles were all around him . Seriously, I felt like a choir was going to start signing! When we saw Nadine, she was awake and chatting with the hospital staff around her. One of the nurses said "she's amazing, she's awake, groggy, drugged, but asking about all the stuff around her". At the moment I looked at her face, I knew she was stronger for experiencing this. I knew she'll be o.k and life has a big plan for her!